Why Is Breastfeeding So Hard? 7 Popular breastfeeding challenges & My Story

For many first-time moms, breastfeeding is an incredibly challenging experience. Mine was full of hurdles, self-doubt, and frustration.

If you ask yourself, “Why Is Breastfeeding So Hard?” like me those days, read on. I’ll explain breastfeeding challenges in details, and share my story of success.

Why Breastfeeding Can Be Challenging

1. Latch Difficulties

There are several latch difficulties you may encounter.

When the baby doesn’t take enough breast tissue into their mouth (shallow latch), it can cause pain for the mother and inefficient milk transfer for the baby.

Incorrect positioning can lead to an improper latch. The baby’s mouth should cover the nipple and a significant portion of the areola.

When the nipples retract instead of protruding (inverted nipples), it might make latching challenging for the baby.

A tongue tie or lip tie condition can restrict the baby’s tongue or lip movement, affecting their ability to latch correctly.

Flat nipples can make it harder for the baby to latch.

2. Low Milk Supply

If your baby isn’t gaining weight as expected or isn’t back to birth weight by two weeks, it might be a sign of low milk supply.

During feeding, if you don’t hear consistent swallowing noises or see active suckling, it might signal inadequate milk flow.

The three most common reasons for low milk supply are poor milk removal, breast or nipple problems, and high levels of stress.

Increasing breast stimulation by nursing or pumping more often can signal the body to produce more milk.

Ensuring a proper latch and comfortable breastfeeding positions can aid milk flow and supply.

Drinking plenty of fluids and getting adequate rest is essential for milk production. You can also try herbal breastfeeding supplements, milk-boosting foods and lactation-boosting drinks.

3. Pain or Discomfort

Breast engorgement, sore nipples, or mastitis can cause discomfort during breastfeeding.

Problem	Details	Solutions
Breast Engorgement	Occurs when breasts are overfull with milk, leading to swelling, pain, and firmness. Breasts feel hard, hot, swollen, and painful.	Nurse frequently, apply warm compresses before feeding, and use cold packs after feeding to relieve discomfort. Massage gently and change breastfeeding positions. Read more about how to unclog milk duct.
Sore Nipples	Nipples become painful, tender, or cracked due to improper latch. Nipples are sore or bleeding.	Correct positioning and latch, use lanolin cream or pumped breast milk to soothe nipples, ensure proper baby positioning and latch, and seek advice from a lactation consultant.
Mastitis	Infection or inflammation of the breast tissue, causes flu-like symptoms, redness, swelling, and a painful lump. The breast feels warm, swollen, and painful, with a red patch. Fever, chills, and body aches.	Nurse frequently on the affected breast, position baby’s chin so that it’s stimulating the breast sector where the painful lump is, apply warm compresses, rest, and take antibiotics if prescribed by a doctor.

Helpful Breastfeeding Products You May Need When Facing Breastfeeding Challenges

4. Lack of Support

Insufficient guidance or support, especially during the initial phases, can make breastfeeding challenging for new mothers.

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5. Medical Issues

Certain medical conditions or medications might affect breastfeeding or cause complications.

6. Baby’s Challenges

Some babies may have difficulties latching or sucking, making breastfeeding a struggle.

7. Emotional and Mental Health

Postpartum challenges, stress, anxiety, or depression can affect a mother’s ability to breastfeed.

My Breastfeeding Story: Flat Nipples, Lack of Support, Latch Difficulties, and Low Milk Supply Alltogether

My breastfeeding story is all about flat nipples, struggle, self-doubt, and, finally, a hard victory. I want to share my breastfeeding journey as a mom firmly trying to breastfeed, and maybe it will shed some light on the reasons why breastfeeding can be so hard and offer insights into the emotions a breastfeeding mom may go through.

I Knew Breastfeeding Was Not So Easy and I Tried to Learn as Much as I Could

During my first pregnancy back in 2015, I attended childbirth preparation classes. I even attended the same lecture on breastfeeding twice because I missed about 20 minutes when felt sick and went out of the classroom.

That was because I really wanted to KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT BREASTFEEDING before I started. I knew breastfeeding wasn’t as easy and natural as most people think. So, my #1 advice would be the following: you must be aware of possible complications and have your plan.

I Assumed I Would Have Complications Due to Flat Nipples

I was very concerned about the shape of my nipples. During the entire third trimester of pregnancy, I searched for information and accessories to prepare for breastfeeding with flat nipples.

I was late in using nipple everters since they could only be used until the 7th month of pregnancy.

There wasn’t an option for an electric nipple corrector back then, or I simply didn’t know about it.

As a result, I bought a small pump for nipple stimulation just before latching, Medela nipple shields, and a breast pump. I packed these accessories into my hospital bag and hoped that something from all of this would help me.

It’s Not About Genetics, It’s About Your Intent

Advice #2: Successful breastfeeding is a matter of your intent, whatever complicated it may be in your individual case.

Back then, I thought that whether my breastfeeding experience would be successful or not was determined much by genetics and physiology. Both factors were not in my favor: my mother and sister breastfed for a maximum of a month, I had zero successful breastfeeding cases among my relatives, and my flat nipples did not give me much optimism.

However, I have a stubborn character, and I tried to suppress my doubts as much as possible, especially since internet sources and midwives insisted that nipples were not a problem and only 2-3% of women in the world could not breastfeed due to physiology issues.

Now I understand how important ATTITUDE and INTENTION are if you want to breastfeed exclusively and not use formula. In other words, I decided that I WANT, and I WILL. No matter what. It means not giving up when faced with difficulties, overcoming them, taking action when problems arise, trying, and making an extra effort.

Support Is Important and Makes a HUGE Impact

I had very little support. The midwives at the maternity hospital tried to latch the baby onto the breast several times after delivery, but it didn’t work. 

At home, my mother constantly doubted I had enough milk supply and suggested using formula.

The gynecologist I visited two weeks after giving birth said that my breasts looked empty, and the fact that the baby was hanging on them for an hour or so each time I fed her “speaks for itself.”

Sometimes, Just a Small Detail Can Trigger Your Motivation

I did get my magical motivation trigger to make an extra effort when I was totally broke. It was a glance and one-second judgment from a nurse that made me look at myself from the outside and suddenly gave me a new breath to stay strong and try again. I’ll tell you this story.

I was crazy about successfull breastfeeding all my pregnancy. I knew about the process and potential problems most first-time moms face. When I faced problems with the baby’s latch during her first days, I fed her formula from a spoon and syringe.

It’s one of the important rules – on the first days and weeks not to give your baby anything that can be sucked, such as bottles, pacifiers, etc. So when I started having colostrum three days after giving birth (yes, there was no colostrum in my breasts at all before the third day), I squeezed it into a spoon, then put it into a syringe and gave it to my baby. The breastmilk spilled out from the tiny mouth if the baby didn’t swallow in time, and there was so little of it that I felt sorry. The baby was crying. She was hungry and tired of my attempts to latch her. One day, instead of squeezing breastmilk into a spoon and syringe, I was so broke that I used a bottle.

My confidence that I would breastfeed and that everything would finally work out was ruined at that time. I had planned things one way, but in real life, it was the other way. For example, I firmly intended not to give formula until I had breastmilk coming and to feed my baby only with colostrum. But the baby crying all night, not latching on at all, the complete absence of colostrum, and the nurses’ words that the baby was hungry led me to use the formula. Sweet dreams about finally meeting my baby, looking my daughter in the eyes when they put her on my belly, and breastfeeding her soon after birth were unfulfilled, and I felt very bad about it.

So, one day, I had a breast pump in my hands with very little yellowish breastmilk, and I was so frustrated that I put a nipple on it and gave the milk to the baby from a bottle without putting it into a syringe or spoon. I thought it didn’t matter at that point because nothing was working anyway.

The next day, a new doctor came to me to check if all was well. She seemed very knowledgeable, examined me, and answered my questions. As always, I complained about my flat nipples and that I couldn’t latch the baby. The first thing she asked was how I fed her, whether I used something to suck. I said that I usually used a spoon and syringe and followed so-called best practices, but the last couple of times, I was very frustrated and gave milk from a bottle. And then, on her previously sympathetic face, there flashed a distant disapproving look, only for a second, but I caught it, and suddenly, I felt like I was looking at myself with her eyes with this disapproving glance.

She continued to talk about feeding newborns with a spoon and syringe before they finally latch, using nipple shields, nipple stimulation with a pump, etc., but her tone carried slight notes of pity. So, when she left, I had a serious conversation with myself. 🙂 I told myself, “Oh, it seems you’ve given up, but… you know… you always achieve what you want, right?” That day, I made up my firm decision to not give up FIGHT FOR BREASTFEEDING till the end. 🙂 And got back to spoon and syringe. And more attempts to latch my baby.

Why so many words? Because it’s both simple and complicated.

Decide what you want and go for it. Seek support from those who are on the same wave. Ignore those who don’t believe in you. This works not only with breastfeeding but in other areas of life as well.

Tough Times Don’t Last Forever

For me, breastfeeding was a struggle and a testament to the power of perseverance. The turning point came when my baby finally latched onto my breast with Medela’s nipple shield. It was progress, but it was still far from easy.

My daily routine became a relentless cycle of nursing and pumping in order to increase the milk supply that was very low due to the difficulties with the baby’s latch.

Imagine: I fed my baby for about 1 hour, then I pumped for about 1 hour to make about 1.5 oz in total from both breasts, then I had 1 hour to rest, and then started the cycle again. And it was all day long and at night, too. Day and night blurred together, and I felt like a zombie.

On the other side, it was a success. My breastmilk supply was growing (I tracked the amount I pumped in an app), and my baby began to gain weight. It all was worth it.

When my baby was 4 months old, I bid farewell to the nipple shield. It was a milestone in our journey. I began to breastfeed entirely naturally. All in all, I was breastfeeding my daughter until she was one year and one month old.

The end. A testament to the resilience of a mother’s choice.

My story may serve as proof that breastfeeding is not always easy, but life is also sometimes not easy, and it’s all about choices, right?

In the end, I’m so proud of myself. I hope my story will inspire first-time moms struggling to breastfeed or having temporary breastfeeding challenges to believe that all their efforts are worth it.

Last Updated on June 4, 2024 by Tania Nizova | Published: October 10, 2023